Ive been going deep on the mix of my new song “AND I…” a new version. I have to find that right balance of all the sounds that’s gonna hit so right! Im in a vortex with it. Anyone reading this who knows the creative process knows that there are times u can get stuck and hone in too much on details. Writers artists musicians any and all creative artists. We all have been right here in a place of thinking we are almost there and it will be perfect if I change this but then it’s, oh wait this too needs to be changed! Then its, “oh why did I change that?! It was good just the way it was!” and on and on it goes… This has happened before with another song and also with crafting hour long stand-up comedy sets. I become a sculptor and Ive been here with this song sculpting it for 2 months which really is nothing but it's time for me to let it fly and yes I’ll say it - its almost there! Lol. I was talking to my friend Robby who I’ve made a lot of music with over the years. He’s in Germany now but is there for me when I need to talk thru things and coach me and today I needed him. He was there. His understanding of this situation was vast wide and deep. He broke it down for me. “Zoom out Lyss. The song is fucking great. You can tweek it forever but why injure your sanity over it.” We talked about my experience with it, what Im hearing I like and don’t like and how to know when to say when. The truth is some things are never done. Sometimes when a movie is so good Im mad it’s ended because I want to know more! What happens to this character and their relationships?! Why u leave me hangin like that!? But it’s art and there’s a beginning and an end because if not it can never be shared. Music and art and all my creative endeavors are emotional for me so here’s another chance to employ my tools of breath and patience with the process. Allow time and clarity trust the process. Ive been working on this song with my friend Scott at his studio in NYC. He and I have been working on my music since 2005 together. Ive created so much of my favorite music at his place I have so many wonderful memories of being there with him and musicians I’d bring in to play. Now when Im sitting next to him I see those moments the memories so alive the vibes are high and rich. Scott has been so patient and loving with me throughout this process of finalizing this song. We’ve never been down this road before since other songs came together so quickly but here we are and Ive emailed him texted him made online appointment sessions with him gone into the city (NYC) to sit with him so many times now and each time I listen back I hear something new. He gets it. He’s been nothing but patient. I said “Scott, Im starting to feel like Former Chief Inspector Dreyfus from The Pink Panther oh no! Hahahaha help!” He’s come back with kindness and understanding. “This happens Lyss. Take your time” My partner saying “You can do this just get what you want - what you are hearing You can do it You’ve done it so many times before” My friend Robby in Germany saying “I get it! But you can’t lose it sounds fucking great!” My vocal coach saying “Give yourself Grace.” I listen and let the song and the music to reveal what it needs to be in balance to me. Patience. Its not a race. No shame in letting it take the time it takes in making all the changes I make. Im in full gratitude this awareness. For being here now and able to make music and the list goes on and on. Last night I lay awake for a good long while somewhere in the wee hours my mind was active and I breathed trying to be the observer but then a poem came to me for my partner for Valentines day. It made me smile and I hoped Id remember it in the morning. After I got up had coffee some breakfast and did some steaming for my voice I remembered it vaguely but it was just enough to get me into the flow of it. I wrote the poem and just like that it was complete and I gave it to him. He loved it so much. He was so deeply touched and moved by it. It was my way to reflect back all the love he endlessly gives - it was from my heart and soul to his. But there was a greater lesson in it that’s sometimes it’s done. Its just enough and it needs nothing. That’s precious for me to recognize yes Lyss this process doensn’t define you as not being able to finish or decide on things at all Trust it Embrace it! Keep sculpting! A valentines day present for us both.
